Emma's Bloglet

Brushing off cobwebs...

2009-01-14T13:58:00.004Z

Oh my word. A year and a half has passed since my last blog post. I'm not going to rattle on about what's happened in that time, suffice to say I moved in with the wonderful Richard last year and we're bloomin' marvellous. :D

In more timely news, I've made a new year's resolution in response to the increasingly apparent fact that I HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF. I've always known this, but in my post-Christmas sales binge I realised that I had run out of space to store the beautiful things that I'd bought. Therefore I decided to get rid of more stuff and buy less by making the following resolution.

I hereby promise that for every item of clothing I buy in the year 2009 I will have to have thrown out, sold or given away THREE garments.

There, I've announced it on the interwebs - I've got to stick to it! And there are some provisos too, I must dispose of the outgoing items BEFORE receiving anything new, single socks don't count as a garment, etc. I think I might set out the full rules in a separate post in the near future, but until then... Wish me luck!

New Home, New Start

2007-06-01T12:29:00.000+01:00

As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry, I'd found a potential new flat in the block next-door to my old one. All went fine with the sign up and I got the keys on the 16th of May, but it took me a bit of time to move in. This was partly due to the fact I only had a camping mattress and fold-up chair as furniture, which, combined with the bare walls and scant possessions made it feel immensely depressing.

Last weekend however I got a sofa and a bed moved in so I'm now living there properly and it's going well. I've not *quite* moved out all my rubbish from the old flat, and in some cases it's difficult to remember what's mine and what's Dan's, but we're getting there. I got a bit emotional last night about the whole thing, sat in our old kitchen which I was attempting to clear at 11.30 at night. I think I was mainly exhausted and hungry (I'd not had time to make myself any dinner) but it certainly felt very sad and somewhat lonely too.

However, looking to the positives, I'm in a lovely flat, planning what to put where and sorting through a whole load of belongings that I've not touched in ages. I'm planning a big clear out soon, so charity shops and car boots everywhere should watch out! Hopefully sorting my possessions should also give me a bit of an emotional clear out too. We'll see.

Anyway, here for your perusal are some pictures of my lovely new flat taken by the letting agent. Don't worry, it's looking slightly less bare now! Keep an ear to the ground for housewarming type events too :)

Living room

Kitchen

Bedroom

Election Frustration

2007-04-30T22:19:00.000+01:00

How the hell am I supposed to make an informed decision about who to vote for in our local council elections when I've had ONE piece of post from a political party this year? I have 6 candidates to chose from, Labour (current councillor), LibDem (runner up last time), Conservative, Green, AGS and *spits* BNP, and only one of them has bothered to make any contact with me.

A cursory search on the Internet for information about each of the candidates or the parties plans for my area has been so frustrating I had to rant about it here to let off steam. I've even got to the point where I'm thinking of going round to each of their houses and demanding that they explain themselves to me. That'd be interesting. Maybe I could get a TV crew to film it... hmmm...

Anyway, my gold start for effort goes to the AGS (Alliance for Green Socialism), who were the only party to put a flyer through my door and are certainly the most visible presence in the area, putting up little signs on sticks on all the grass verges they can find. I can't help but think that this isn't very green-minded, but I imagine the sticks were from replanted forests, the card was recycled and they were all printed with vegetable based inks ;)

So, rant over, but I'm still left with no idea who to vote for.

Not on "The Other Side" yet...

2007-04-25T20:20:00.000+01:00

... but I'm slowly sorting things out.

I know some of you roughly guessed what has happened and thanks to y'all for being so patient with me. For those that I haven't managed to speak to in person, my cryptic message was to do with Dan and I splitting up. I'm not going to go into why and how, but I'm pretty sure I made the right decision and although we're still friends it's been a tough few weeks.

However now things are getting on track, especially now I've found a flat (almost next door to where I am now) and am in the first stages of signing up for it. I think if it all goes to plan it'll be my first proper step of moving on.

I'll let you know how it's going.

Quiet Time

2007-04-12T22:42:00.000+01:00

I'm not going to be quite myself for a bit. Please will you leave me to it, I'll come round in my own sweet time. No questions, no "OMG are you alright?" alarmist texts... Thanks.

All I keep thinking is that if it was the right thing to do, why does it hurt so much?

See you on the other side.

My new job

2007-04-02T20:58:00.000+01:00

I know I should go on about how much I'm enjoying my new job, not least because that *is* what I'm doing, however I'm motivated to write today for the opposite reason. I'm several weeks in now and today has been the worse one yet. This is not to say that I want to give up and go back to Help Desk, just that today has been especially difficult. There are several reasons for this.

We had a break in. Well, 2 windows were smashed in our training rooms, meaning I had to deal with Estates and Security as well as a unsolicited visit from my line manager 3 levels up who wanted to see what all the fuss was about. All this on top of the day-to-day course bookings and admin to do, such as...
Rescheduling a course because one of our trainers wanted to go to the funeral of a collegue. All fair enough, but trying to rearrange the course for another date was SO frustrating, mainly down to one woman who "didn't work afternoons" and "was on annual leave" on every other bloomin' day I suggested. I gave up in the end and have resolved to get onto it tomorrow morning. However...
Tomorrow is the Suppliers Exhibition for which we have to provide both a poster and handouts to promote our warez (intentional spelling - no letters please). The former had been left with a member of the Media Services graphics team who had gone on holiday so I had to correct the fault myself and pester the print team to get me a proof and print it in time for the exhibition. As for the latter I had to muddle something together from various sources and get it approved by my boss, which wasn't easy because...
My boss has been off all day, which is great for him, but when there's no one to run things by and you're in the office on your own, you can feel a bit lost.

The final reason why today has been tough is because I'm ill. I've a cold and have generated a whole load of aches and pains as a result of going to a "Hat Night" party at Terrence's on Saturday. It was a good party, but the drink and the insufficient sleep that made it good have made me feel physically and mentally sluggish today.

However despite all these trials and tribulations of a hard day at work, I feel like I have actually made a contribution to the workplace in a way that I didn't most days on Help Desk. I suppose that is the ultimate difference between my new and old workplace. Whereas before I got on with my job and got my buzz from who I worked with, now I get a buzz from the challenges I get doing my job. I will always miss the Help Desk boys and the times my face ached from laughing so much, but that wasn't going to last for ever as people move on and times change.

So, in sum, I'm enjoying my job, but today was a bitch :)

P.S. Got my Glastonbury ticket confirmation through! Sunday morning at Terrence's involved quite a bit of RSI from pressing refresh and redial keys, but eventually we got them all. Sold out in 90 minutes, but I could have told them that.

All new...

2007-02-27T22:42:00.001Z

So, here we are in the new Google Blogger. Looks pretty similar, just a few additional features are evident so far.

Anyway, to test, here's couple of photos of things that happened this month.

Maxine's birthday in Bourbon.

The Massive night out in Cheltenham (Accommodation courtesy of Siy).

Any other news? Oh yeah! I went for 2 interviews this month, both in ISS. The first (Help Desk Senior person) I didn't get, but on reflection I'm glad Fred got it, as I was then able to get the second one, in the Training team. So, from next week I'll be in the ISS Training Support Officer with my own phone number, projects and, more importantly, my own desk! I can't wait!

So, new job and a new Google blog... I wonder what else might change?

[edited to make pics work]

End of an Era

2007-02-27T21:51:00.000Z

Jeez, is there nothing safe from the unstoppable force that is Google?

As much as I see them as being a rather jolly bunch of characters, the more stuff they start taking over, the less wholesome they feel. There is some part of me that can't get away from the notion that power corrupts.

Anyway, I hope they continue to be a nice fluffy company that wants to make useful and good quality resources for the good of the universe. Especially as I'm about upgrade my Blogger account to their Googley alternative.

So it's goodbye for now. I'll see you on the other side...

Hot Fuzzy Fun

2007-02-12T22:58:00.000Z

Bloomin' 'eck - It has been a long time... but I'm determined to get back into this blogging business.

Went to see Hot Fuzz at a special gala screening in Leeds last Monday. It cost £10 per ticket but we got a bunch of freebies, including a copy of Shaun of the Dead each, and the chance to see the film almost 2 weeks before anyone else.

I laughed a lot, and enjoyed it at the time but thinking about it afterwards I wasn't sure how good it was compared to Shaun of the Dead. I kept getting the feeling I was laughing because I was expecting it to be good, and it was simply validating my opinion. Does that make it any less good? I don't know.

Anyway, in places it was predictable, but in the kind of way that feels a bit warm and fuzzy because it plays to a certain movie or genre. In others it really surprised me, where I was expecting it to cut away but it doesn't and you see some pretty sickening effects that made me laugh almost in shock. I enjoyed it at the time, but as I keep thinking about it I can't help feeling like there was something missing, as though they were trying to do too much in one film and there was no unifying thread.

It's not a rave review, in fact, rereading it, it's a bloody crap one which is why I'm going to stop discussing it as I can't seem to include anything positive. This is sad because I want them to keep on making great movies and become a key part of current UK film making. Anyway I'm going to have to see it again, and so should you, so you can judge for yourselves and help me decide.

What I wouldn't give...

2007-01-02T17:57:00.000Z

...for a good neck massage right about now.

Somehow I managed to escape my New Year hangover apart from extreme tiredness and now this killer ache in my shoulderblades and neck. I've decided to christen this phenomenon "Bottle neck" combining both the cause and the location of the pain.

Anyway I get the feeling this New Years Eve was a good one. I couldn't remember most of it. A 70 cl bottle of Smirnoff can do that to a girl.

*Does some rooting about*

Jeez, 28 units. Explains a lot. Not everything, but a lot :)

Compare and contrast

2007-01-02T13:08:00.000Z

After watching Superman 2 on New Year's Day it struck me how similar Christopher Reeves is to an Ancient Egyptian.

Tutankhamun

Christopher Reeves

BA (Hons) and now PG Cert

2006-12-14T17:19:00.000Z

Here I am, in the Great Hall, preparing to graduate in my Post Graduate Certificate hood which was a surprising combination of maroon, white and lime green.

Five of the seven in our class who chose to come to graduation - Me, Claire, Anita, Alison and Harminder. Unfortunately Barbara, Margaret and Kath weren't able to come for various reasons.

My Mum and Dad came to watch and, although my Mum didn't cry this time, I still think they were proud.

My boss Vanessa, who helped me through the whole course and project by suggesting the topic in the first place and being a great role model.

My course mentor Simon who was always there to reassure me when things started to go wrong in my project!

Anyway, enough of this self congratulation and oscar style thankyous, I've got my certificate, had the photos taken and returned the gown, so back to work tomorrow. However if you haven't seen enough, then you can check out the webcast (Ceremony 14) at www.leeds.ac.uk/webcast. We don't graduate until 38mins and 25 seconds in. There, saved you nearly 40 minutes of tedium :)

Guess Who?

2006-12-11T11:21:00.000Z

Well, I've been back from t'other side of the world for over a month, so it's high time I got back into the swing of blogging. My Australian experience was pretty amazing but I won't go into details here, as you can find them at http://emmahelenaustralia.blogspot.com.

I've been pretty busy since getting back, mainly with Sally and Nathan's wedding, news of which was a huge surprise that was announced just before I went away. They'd been planning it for a year and after announcing it mid October, there was only a matter of weeks before the big day on December 8th. I went to Sally's double hen do that comprised of a meal in Preston and then a weekend in York and managed to entertain all and sundry be having a large portion of wardrobe fall on my head (what can I do? I'm just naturally amusing).

I couldn't be happier for them and the day itself was absolutely perfect. Sally was wearing a simple but stunning dress that made her look like a greek goddess. Katie, her bridesmaid also looked gorgeous and the venue was fabulous. Nathan and Sally had been upgraded to the Bridal Suite which had an entertainment centre, 8 foot square bed (Jeez!), big shower, dual baths (set side by side) and for some unfathomable reason, a mini gym. I know I'd find a more interesting way to exercise if it was my honeymoon.

As beautiful as the day was I couldn't help but feel a knot in much stomach everytime I thought too much about the arrangements. I was so disappointed at not being invited to the whole day, when Claire, who'd also known Sally since school, had been. I have some idea why this may have been the case, but nobody has mentioned it yet so I'm waiting and hoping for some kind of explanation. Looking back however I'm glad I pestered Sally to invite me to the ceremony, as for me that is what the whole day is about, not the meal, speeches or evening do. Unfortunately it still cast a shadow over my enjoyment of the day, I just hope it didn't do the same for anyone else.

It's a shame to end on a down note, and telling how gutted I am to miss the Danny Schmidt recital that Scott booked for my sister Katie tonight will not improve matters. However I will point out that it's my graduation on Thursday at 9.45 (See here for the webcast) and my work's Xmas do on Friday, so I have got some things to cheer me up this week.

Busy, busy bee...

2006-10-05T20:40:00.000+01:00

Start of term is always a busy time when you work in an educational establishment and this year has been no exception. What is nice is that this time round we've had plenty of staff and done enough preparation to ensure that the mad rush is at least managable. Kudos to our manager (and us too) for keeping it under control.

However another dead cert. for this time of year is that I will catch "Fresher's Flu" due to the influx of new and interesting cold virii brought in from all over the country. I've had the last day and a half off work and am desperately hoping to be back to health for my trip a week on Monday.

Speaking of which I've set up a new blog, the imaginatively named emmahelenaustralia.blogspot.com to record my trip.

Well, I better start packing... where's my boomerang?

Been quiet round here huh?

2006-09-23T23:54:00.000+01:00

Still feeling rather contemplatative I'm afraid.

Watch this space is all I can suggest.

...And much drinking was done by all

2006-09-03T11:14:00.000+01:00

As I sit here, nursing my hangover with the help of a handful of ibruprofen and a gallon of water, I can't help but think that last night was a pretty funny one.

I haven't posted for some time, mainly because I'm still trying to catch up with all the people that I've abandoned during my course. And last night was no exception.

Wiggy, Steven and Richard caught the train to Leeds to experience Rock of Ages, a fun night at LUU which I've been pestering people to go to for ages. We were joined by Help Desk's Carlski and three of his mates, Steven, Paul and Mike(?) whilst ISS's Andi helped me represent the girls.

So to the pictures...

Representing the Massive...

Wiggy with DJ Dave and Carlski.

Steven and I looking really confused for no apparent reason

A large number of people all piled in shot, Andi, Carlski and Wig in the background.

Ian, Steven and Carl playing Air instruments.

C'est tout et fin.

Oh and whilst we watched the football (5-0 to Eng-er-land) in Ashes Bar, my ex-Help Desk-colleague Luke droped by and we had a quick catch up over a pint. My, does he have an impressive beard now!?

Good news multiplier

2006-08-22T23:07:00.000+01:00

As if finding my passport wasn't enough of a piece of good news, I've also found out (early) that I've passed my Postgraduate Certificate! As if this wasn't enough, I've got a first, and if that wasn't enough I may have got an "Excellent" first, depending on the External Examiners board in November.

When I read my mark I laughed, cried and danced all at the same time, it was such a surprise and a relief!

I'm slightly concerned what bad news might be around the corner after all this, but I realise I can't dwell on thoughts like that. It's Bank Holiday, then my birthday and then it's nearly my Australia trip - gonna keep smiling.

A life on the ocean wave...

2006-08-20T00:26:00.000+01:00

...or, more accurately, "A life on the Leeds to Liverpool canal".

For her boyfriend's birthday, Katie booked a barge for the day allowing 5 people to explore the 17 miles of lock free canal surrounding Skipton. Katie, Scott and their friends Chris and Bruce were going and I was invited to join them. So at 10.15am on Saturday I got off the Skipton train and wandered down to meet "Jim" our boat.

Katie and Scott had been given a quick technical introduction to "Jim", and were shown how to steer and open the sway bridges that we were going to come across. Our only provisos were not to go through any locks (we hadn't been trained) and to return before dark (no headlights) so we merrily tootled off towards Silsden, stopping off every now and then to open a bridge and once at Kildwick for a pub lunch. There was lots of idle chat and admiration for both the green, woodland parts of the trip and for the historic industrial waterfronts that we came across. When in rained we'd either sit it out with hoods up, or sit inside and play cards. All very genteel! The sedate pace of the barge really affects your mood and as long as you have a steady hand at the tiller, the whole thing is very relaxing. So much so I'd consider doing it for a holiday.

Anyway, I'm sat here at my PC writing my blog and I feel like the room gently swaying - evidently I still haven't found my landlegs! I'm off for a lie down...

Freedom feels weird...

2006-08-10T10:17:00.000+01:00

Hello again!

Originally in this post I was going to go into a huge rant about the whole rigmarole of handing in my work on time as a way of explaining my blog abscence for the last few weeks. However I truely can't be arsed thinking about it any more. Although I would just like to thank Psycho who helped me through the last few agonising minutes of printing and route-marching me to the office to hand it in. Cheers chick :)

Now that's over I'm getting back to my "normal" life, slowly but surely finding what is left of my friendships and dusting them off. Recently, I got chatting to my ole A-level Psychology pardner Sarah, who is over at Lancaster slaving over a hot laptop for her Phd and remembering how funny and clever she is and how much fun we had "back in the day". Soon I shall catch up with Sally and Claire, and Becs and... well the list goes on.

In other news Dan and I now are proud owners of free broadband courtesy of the nice folks at Orange. Other events in the pipeline are; seeing Graeme Parks at Bar Home, going on a day's barge trip with Katie and Scott and Friends, planning my BH weekend and my Birthday, as well as all the prep. for my Australia trip. I'm gonna be a busy girl.

So that's it. Well, apart from a fun link sent to me by Sarah where you have to identify the true nature of the person in the photo. I got 10/10 - let me know how you did :)

http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/

self-destruct mode

2006-07-23T21:39:00.000+01:00

My stress levels are rising again. The eczema and general skin issues that visit me in difficult times are kind of a dermatological icing on the cake to the more annoying personality disorder that I seem to take on. I go into a kind of self-destruct/indulge mode that, despite being the mainstay of t'interweb, I'd rather not talk about here.

I wish I was one of those people who seems to thrive on challenges. However my approach to a difficult task just sees me procrastinating more and more (by blogging for example) which means that getting the job done will become even more difficult than before. I *know* that it is wrong to be sat here whinging my heart out to anyone who's passing, but I still do it. And just for those of you (freaks) who can't conceive someone leaving everything until the last minute, here's my final piece of procrastination for the moment.

Another stupid postal event

2006-07-20T12:57:00.000+01:00

After waiting double the expected length of time for a certain item to come through the post I finally got it today. Although this was annoying it was nowhere near as stupid as the amount of packaging that it came in. Baring in mind what I ordered is in the little white box on top of the A4 sized brochure, the rest of this packaging is ridiculously excessive and yet still not worth the £4.99 P&P they charged me.

The environmentally conscious should take a deep breath and count to ten now.

This is a test.

2006-07-15T19:52:00.000+01:00

{procrastination}

I'm just testing if I can really upload things to my Blogspot using email from my mobile phone. I'm also wondering how much this is going to cost me. Tune in later to find out!

-- later --

Goddamnit. Cost me 53p to send something that only then appears as a draft, so I still have to log into Blogger.com to publish it. Price wasn't so bad, but what's the point of having the facility to email submissions if you have to go into Blogger anyway?

However I do now know that I can check my gmail account via my phone.

18 days until I hand in my coursework.

{/procrastination}

Whitby

2006-07-10T23:43:00.000+01:00

Bloomin' 'eck... look at that! A picture! Seems like Blogger might be fixed after all!

Anyway, on to the point of this post... I went to Whitby on Saturday with Emma, Maxine and Dom (the stars of the picture above) and had a lovely day. We all had a list in our heads of what we wanted to do and we did them all and managed some other classic seaside resort things too.

We started with a greasy spoon style breakfast on the beachfront, then wandered up to the cliffs to play a round of Crazy Golf. Needless to say I lost, but had a fun time doing so! We finally found a cafe that wasn't packed to the rafters and had a drink then headed up the 199 steps to the Church and Abbey on top of the hill. No-one else was too interested in paying to look round the Abbey so I went in alone and took loads of atmospheric piccies. Then I realised I hadn't got anyone to take a picture of me so I had to set my camera to timer and run across the grounds to pose, then run back before anyone pinched my stuff. This is the result - I look a bit lonely don't I?

After checking out the Abbey we went back down the hill, bought a football and headed to the beach with all expectations of having a kick about. Not being of the coastal persuasion we were all slightly surprised to find that the tide had come in - we'd not even considered it as a possibility! Fortunately it was on the turn and half an hour later there was enough dry sand for a kick about and for Maxine and I to prove how rubbish we left handers were at bat and ball.

After tiring ourselves out and feeling the inital drops of rain from the clouds that had been lurking all afternoon, we left the beach behind to get fish and chips. The recommended "Magpie" restaurant and takeaway had ridiculous queues so we walked a little further and found a nice looking place (plaice?) called "Quayside" and ordered our food. We sat under the partial shelter of a conveniently placed band stand and ate our battered cod, chips and mushy peas with the satisfaction that we'd completed almost all the things we'd set out to do. Our final job was to pick up an ice cream on the way back to the car and as we headed home the radio picked up "Hairbrush Divas" and we had a sing-along to loads of embarrasingly cheesy songs.

I had a fab time, but I really must do some work now :)

From stalking to kidnap.

2006-07-03T21:24:00.000+01:00

After being subjected to some teasing by someone (here described as Mr P.) and finding myself in posession of his sandwich I proceeded to hold it to ransom for a series of silly demands. As he was taunting me for acting like a child I named myself The Mean Toddler and below is a full document of my crime.

Dear Mr P.

I am currently holding your sandwich to ransom.

It is safe and well at the moment - as you can see from the picture above, however if my demands are not met, it will be consumed bite by bite until nothing remains but the empty shell of packaging. If my demands are all met, then your sandwich will be returned to you in one piece.

I will issue you with my initial demand at 13.30 today.

Kind regards
The Mean Toddler

=============================

His reply.

The cunning levels of 3-year-olds have obviously improved since I was one...

=============================

Indeed Mr P., we are now fully functioning machines of evil, dressed by our unassuming parents in cute little outfits and tiny designer footware.

My first demand is for 3 items of university supplied stationery of your choosing.

You shall leave them in an envelope outside the Help Desk, on the seat next to the stairs and opposite the lift. Do this by 14.00h today, do not alert the authorities and do not attempt to communicate with me. Any breach of these conditions shall see your sandwich subjected to intense torture.

Kind regards
The Mean Toddler

=============================

My first haul! (awaiting picture)

=============================

(awaiting picture)

Well done Mr P., if you continue to maintain this level of co-operation your sandwich will be returned to you in one piece later today. As you can see from the above dated picture, it continues to remain in good health.

My next ransom demand is for a decorative item fashioned from the internal gubbins of a PC.

In order to avoid suspicion you will leave this in a Jiffy bag marked "MT" in the pigeon hole in Reception - Level 9.

Again I wish to make it clear that you must do this by 15.00h today, do not alert the authorities and do not attempt to communicate with me. Any breach of these conditions shall see your sandwich subjected to unmentionable abuse using the implements pictured in the attached photo.

Kind regards
The Mean Toddler

=============================

My second glorious victory (awaiting picture)

=============================

Excellently done Mr P., my henchmen and I were suitably amused by "Hungry Al". I can reassure you that this is the final demand to be issued to you and soon your sandwich will be back safely in your hands.

The last thing I want you to present me with is something related to timepieces and again this is of your choice.

As this is the final demand, I will deign to meet you in person and will bring the aforementioned sandwich ready to be exchanged. However if I find that you have informed the authorities of my presence or have not brought an item to be exchanged, the sandwich will IMMEDIATELY BE TERMINATED. I would therefore advise you to read the following instructions carefully.

I will meet you at Cafe Mathematique at 15.45h to undertake the exchange - I shall be the devilishly attractive one carrying a sandwich. We shall place the items on the table top and undergo a conversation that is not at all related to these events. After 15 minutes I shall pick up the blank Jiffy envelope and you may leave with your sandwich.

Until 15.45h Mr P., I bid you Adieu!

Kind regards
The Mean Toddler

=============================

My final trophy! (awaiting picture)

=============================

I'm definitely warming to a life of petty crime...

The spirit of Summer

2006-07-03T09:05:00.000+01:00

Something that always feels Summery to me is driving round in the sun with all the windows down, hair going mental and bare feet up on the dashboard. Although in this photo I don't really look like I'm enjoying it... I am - Honest!

Thunderstorms and Booking Forms

2006-07-02T22:11:00.000+01:00

Well, I'm sat here listening to the tail end of the thunderstorm that has capped off a weekend of cracking weather. Not that I saw very much of it unfortunately, but I'm reliably informed that there is a heat wave on the way so I've not missed out on Summer yet :)

I was a dirty stop out on Friday and went out with some of the guys from work to watch the footy which ended with us all pileing back to Pete's with the promise of beer and pizza. The problem was that all his local delivery places closed at midnight which was no use to us at 12.30 desparate for some grub. In the end we relented and put aside our pizza cravings and went for the last place that was open and had a curry instead. Due to some really bad planning on my part I was left with about £1.50 - nowhere near enough for a taxi home but fortunately Dan was driving home from work later on and agreed to pick me up on the way. Cue a very groggy and bed-headed Emma wandering down some random street in Adel looking for an Esso Garage at 5.30am.

On Saturday afternoon Dan and I headed to Emma and Dave's for a BBQ and to watch the football. We arrived just in time for the kick off and proceeded to get more and more disappointed as England continued to under perform, dragging it painfully out to penalties until they finally fizzled out. The rest of the evening was quiet, very relaxed and easy going which was just what we needed after such a tough week. Today has been similar and I almost feel ready to go back to work tomorrow!

The most exciting thing that has happened this weekend though is that I finally bit the bullet and booked my holiday to Australia. I'd been talking about it for ages and with my cousin Ann-Marie's encouragement I went to look at flights. I found some OK prices and was umming and ahing about whether I could get them cheaper until I realised that the offer was about to end that evening. I phone call to my Dad confirmed my gut feeling - if I really wanted to go, the fact that the flights might be cheaper elsewhere was irrelevant. So I just booked them. Manchester to Singapore, then on to Perth with Singapore Air, returning 25 days later - £738. I even have the money sat in my savings account so I don't have to worry about that side of things just yet. It's all very exciting! I get giddy just thinking about it!

I guess this is just a bit of an update really, so I'll just finish by saying that I feel much better than I did in my last post. This is partly because I have the Australia trip to look forward to but I've also had the support of my mates through the bad patch. (Thanks guys, I hope I can do the same for you now). Ciao for now.

Feeling down and dirty

2006-06-27T15:30:00.000+01:00

Pah. I feel like crap. I'm still not sleeping properly and my body is blatently rebelling against the stress by going into evil mode.

I'm not sure that I can manage much more of this :( but thanks to Leigh for helping cheer me up.

--

Oh, and just to reassure those of you who are worried about me. I'm going to have an early night tonight I promise!

Twice Daily

2006-06-23T16:58:00.000+01:00

Wow, second blog today! Not bad for someone who had so little sleep last night.

Anyway my point is... actually what was my point? Bah, this has been a recurring theme today, lapses of concentration leading to general stupidity... Please hold the line....

Oh yes! I've had an email from my Aussie cousin Ann-Marie today that has finally turned my "I'd like to go to Australia" thoughts into "I am going to go to Australia" ones. She has recently handed in her notice at her demanding oil field engineer job because she wants to go travelling and is looking for a "low stress/responsibility" job to tide her over. She seems really keen for me to visit and has even offered to drive us round WA in her car so we can do some sight seeing.

Her enthusiasm is so infectious I'm going to talk to my parents and Dan about it this weekend then start looking for flights! Woo!

Sleepless nights

2006-06-23T09:38:00.000+01:00

Last night something was on my mind as I hardly managed to get any sleep. I'd have thought it'd be easy - I'd gone to bed late the night before and had gone to the pub after work so was a bit drunk by the time I got home. I sobered up a little by eating and by chatting to Leigh on MSN until late, but although I fell into a deep sleep at first, after 2 hours I woke and never really slept again.

I think it might be to do with my project, or maybe man worries, but really there wasn't anything that I lay thinking about. I'm supposed to be going out tonight, to two separate gatherings (yes I know - look at Miss Popular me!) but to be honest I just feel like going home and curling up in bed (preferably with some strong arms wrapped round me) and falling asleep.

Oh and BTW if you're waiting for my insightful review of the three Douglas Coupland books I read recently, you'll have to wait a bit longer. I tried spell checking it and because pop-up blocker was on, I lost all my changes. Much swearing ensued. I'll try and complete all my non-academic writing this weekend, along with catching up on some much needed sleep.

Wise Man John

2006-06-15T15:43:00.000+01:00

In the spirit of procrastination that always emerges in me whenever the faint whiff of a deadline appears, I found myself reading John's thoughts on desire. He's a wise man, and, like with most of the Massive I feel uncomfortable that I don't acknowledge that side of him when we meet in person.

Anyway, the comments he makes about desire (not necessarily sexual in nature) at http://www.geocities.com/ulysses_denherder/desire.html made me consider my little dilemma (!) from a few weeks ago. He talks about each of us having a feature that we associate with something or someone we desire, and that that feature defines what characteristics we assign to it, what favourite memories we have of it etc. Each of us looks differently at our object of desire, even if me and a friend desire the same thing, it can be for totally different reasons.

More specifically, John mentions people desiring people, and again not just sexual desire, but the desire to be friends with someone, make them laugh, be part of "the gang" etc. He says that he hates the thought of people changing their personality in order to be more desirable, altering it dependant on who they are with. Unfortunately I *know* that I do this, albeit not to score sexual points in the manner he finds so abhorent (Ooh! I didn't think I'd ever use that word!).

Looking back on it, my self-doubt the other day came from not knowing what feature my friends find desirable in me, not knowing why they include me in things and not knowing how I can make them like me more. Sad and sickening at the same time.

However, before I beat myself up to much over this, I don't think this is a characteristic that makes me a manipulator or for that matter any different from practically everyone on the planet. We all want/need to be desired - as evidence of this I'll point you to the legions of email questionnaires you will have received from people angling to find out why you like them...

Are we friends?
Do you have a crush on me?
Who makes you laugh the most?

As John points out, "We each have the ability to bring out the best in others, and make them more than what they are." So perhaps we should tell people why we think they're great, like this phrase that I picked up somewhere says;
"It's nice to know you're nice to know, so I thought I better tell you so"

I love you all, for different and unique reasons... x

Stalking, stalking, happy stalk,

2006-06-14T16:14:00.000+01:00

I was filling in one of those "What do you think of me?" type questionnaires on Leigh's Livejournal site and discovered that with only a tiny amount of effort I could make myself seem like a very crazed stalker. It all stemmed from me realising that I had quite a lot of photos of him from various "Hat night" parties that we'd both been to.

Go to http://bilko123.livejournal.com/13259.html to see me turn into a psycho - around about question 11.

I think I've found a new career path :)

Late arrivals

2006-06-12T15:17:00.000+01:00

Wow, I can't believe my last post was back in May, it feels like ages ago! Although looking back, it probably seems like such a long time because I've not been in work since then.

The highlights of my time off were;
Friday 2nd - Old Trafford at the lads' house to celebrate Terrence's birthday with a "Hat Night". Much fun and drunkeness ensued and some of us also managed a 4.30 am wander round Old Trafford football stadium, complete with silly hats. Very little sleep acheived, but lots of quality photo documentation.
Tuesday 6th - Visited Rebecca, a friend from college for an evening of party food and general TV loafage.
Wednesday 7th - Returned to parents house and had a lovely family meal in with the 'rents, Katie (my sis) and her fella Scott.
Thursday 8th - Katie and I went shopping, which included a session trying on silly ball gowns from TK Maxx. We also visited our Grandma and were lucky to catch her as she's always out and about! Later Mum, Dad and I went over to Scott and Katies house for a BBQ and a beer or two in the sun. We nearly killed some gold fish (dropped a sausage in the pond) and a slug (Katie almost stood on it) but I'm please to say that casualties were few.
Friday 9th - I finally managed a bit of sunbathing in the glorious weather as next-door's builder had stopped working up on the scaffolding that overlooks my parents' garden. In the evening Mum, Dad and I went out for dinner and did a bit of a pub crawl round the village.
Saturday 10th - More sunbathing early on, then I packed and went to watch the football in Blackburn. I went to Bar Code for the first time and joined Richard, Peck, Peck's brother and Richard's Dad and cousin Ange before heading home on the train to Leeds.
Sunday 11th - After a walk to Slips Deli in Roundhay (best. sandwich. ever.) Dan and I headed off to Manchester to celebrate his Grandad's 80th with his parents (That's Dan's parents not Dan's grandad's parents). Over a lovely (if inappropriately warm) Sunday Roast we managed to persuade Dan's Dad to agree to use his £300 gas barbeque sometime this summer. To date it has only been used twice, making it an expensive purchase at £150 a time.

Well, this is just a quick catch up, I'm sure there'll be more to come when I go back to work tomorrow. Meanwhile - Ciao!

Forgot to mention

2006-05-31T12:27:00.000+01:00

Oops! I forgot to mention what happened on Saturday at Mashy's fancy dress party. (See above for those who were "representin' the Massive") I finally thought of something better to go as and think I managed to do it justice for the few short hours I was conscious.

I remembered doing work experience at an architects firm when I was 15 and had been gutted to discover I was truely crap at it. Now it's a bit difficult to find an outfit that represents this profession but I wore a smart shirt and trousers with a orange safety vest, carried a clip board and a tape measure. To be sure that people knew what I was I wore a sign on the back of the safety vest that said "Architect on Site". I'm sure Terrence has a photo somewhere...

As for the rest of the party, well two "Mashy Specials" and a bottle of wine later I disappeared in a drunken haze after only being at the house for an hour and a half. I am ashamed, apologetic and determined to find a formula for house parties that doesn't result in me being locked in an attic room until the next day. Please Lord don't let there be photographic evidence.

Good to see Mashy, Katie and Simon for the first time in ages too.
And thanks to you all for looking after me.
:/

Humbling...

2006-05-31T12:14:00.000+01:00

I've been firmly put in place again; the Massive hierarchy is a complex thing. I find myself wondering if its something I've done/said to change things, but on reflection its more likely that I had a false sense of my own importance in the first place. Pah.

In addition, there's just one person who's making me feel special at the moment, and it's not who it should be. Thanks though :)

Getting re-connected

2006-05-22T21:22:00.000+01:00

A weird feeling spurred me onto installing icq and updating my contacts on MSN Messenger this evening. Not sure what it was, perhaps I'm still feeling a little bit "out of it" and away from the action. Anyway, if I haven't added you, drop me an email and, strangers not permitting I'll include you. Oh, and if you were trying to avoid me, then sorry.

Listening to The Bravery too which is rather enjoyable.

I'm going to a fancy dress party at Mashy's in Sheffield on Saturday, but I'm still not sure what I'm going to wear. The theme is "What you want to be when you were growing up" but I don't remember what I wanted to be. I asked my Mum and the only thing she could conjure up was that I wanted to marry Mark Jackson when I was 5. Mrs M. Jackson it is then!

*Ooh, might have got a lift thanks to Mashy's bright idea! What a star!

Further face ache / Cranium Champions

2006-05-16T16:48:00.000+01:00

The photo above was taken when I caught up with some more of my old friends this weekend. This time it was the turn of my old University coursemates and the 6 of us all got together at Dan's house in Morley for a night of barbecuing, drinks and catching up. I still can't believe it had been nearly 2 years since we last saw each other!

Anyway, the photo (and indeed half the title of this post) refers to the game of Cranium we played as the drinks began to flow. I'd never played before but Hannah and I proved ourselves champions as our two-woman team won the game and, as a result, the much prized bed in the spare room.

As for the other half of the title, I had an allergic reaction to the sunscreen I wore last week and so, as you can see from the photo, my face has been red, tight and itchy since then. Irritating in every sense.

Face Ache

2006-05-03T17:33:00.000+01:00

After spending such a long time feeling like I was missing out on the social life over the Pennines, I finally got my act together and went to Manchester this Bank Holiday Monday. I met up with John, Richard, Steven and Terrence for a few drinks in the city centre and it felt great. It was almost like I was sat back in the Napier in Blackburn, however many years ago, listening to the guys being so goddamn funny it hurts. As John said at the time, there gets to a point where your face just aches.

Amongst the best bits;

Steven's "Flex-Kex" (TM) - A cable wrapped round his waist holding up his jeans.
Richard complaining that my Pear Kopparberg tasted and smelt like plastic.
Terrence singing various miserable songs in a cheerful cockney "Lambeth Walk" style
John confirming my long-standing opinion that luxury coaches with antennae wing mirrors (see below) look like giant insects.

Cheers guys, I had a fab time and I promise I won't leave it so long in the future...

Ha ha ha!

2006-04-28T16:15:00.000+01:00

No. I shan't.

Parp! Fire!

2006-04-21T16:47:00.000+01:00

As the library is currently working on their alarm systems the above photo constitutes the entirety of the Help Desk's contingency in case of fire. We sound an air horn. Jeez, I'm glad we don't work in an explosives factory and that library books don't have a tendancy to spontaneously combust.

A final word on memory sticks...

2006-04-12T13:13:00.000+01:00

My constant pestering of Kingston for a replacement cap for my memory stick has paid off. I'd pretty much given up on them and sent them an email thanking them for their time but explaining that the cap still hadn't arrived. A few days later I receive an envelope containing not one, but two spare lids! I've emailed to thank them and sent a link to this photo of me with my trusty memory stick. Thanks Francisco, you're a star!

A desk with a view

2006-03-28T17:25:00.000+01:00

Richard wanted to know what other people see when they are sat at work day-in day-out. As we've just had a bit of a move around in our office I thought I'd take a snap to show what I can see from my current position on one of our newly shuffled desks.

And if I turn to my right and look out of the blinds I can see this wonderful customer free sight...

Beware the long legged dream spiders

2006-03-20T15:31:00.000Z

I had a weird nightmare last night, one of those which seems to cross over into real life until you wake up properly and realise how silly you're being.

I was in a garden somewhere and a weird long legged spider ran across the floor in front of me. I was worried it would climb up my trouser leg so I held onto my ankles to prevent it from running up inside them. However this position was a bit wobbly and I fel over, only to have a whole mass of them start climbing on top of me.

[The long legged dream spider]

I woke up with a start and immediately had this fear that the reason I had dreamt of this was that a real spider had climbed up my nose and got lodged inside. There is a common "fact" (one that is passed on from pub conversation to pub conversation) that in our sleep we eat about 8 spiders during our lifetime. This knowledge combined with being half-asleep made me leap out of bed (despite my bad back) and run to the bathroom for about 5 minutes of nose blowing until I recovered enough to realise I was being pretty daft.

Still, *twitches nose* I can't help wondering why I did dream that...

No change here...

2006-03-17T12:46:00.000Z

My back is healing! 3 days without painkillers...Woohoo and hurrah for the human body which is a bloomin' miracle of engineering.

In other news; I didn't get the job that I was interviewed for on Thursday. I was obviously a bit gutted as I knew I was able to do it, but having spoken to one of my interviewers I found I just let myself down when discussing my acheivements. It was difficult as it was an internal interview so when I got nervous I tried to rely a bit too much on what I thought they already knew. I'm chalking it up as experience (it was only my third ever interview) so hopefully I'll know better for next time.

It also means I can concentrate on my PGCert project without having add new job stress to my worries. Oh - and I don't have to consider a drop in salary, which is nice :)

Spot the Jackass

2006-03-14T10:24:00.000Z

Although standing up on a sledge and making like your snowboarding seems like a good idea on the glistening slopes of the local park, my advice is don't... I fell over on Sunday and promptly ended my hopes of a place in the 2012 London Olympics Gymnastics team... OK then, my hopes of standing up straight for a good few days. I guess I should have waited until I'd learnt a few tricks from the snowboarding lessons me and my friends had planned to take.

Ah well, on the plus side I got my first (somewhat painful) ride in an ambulance. Yey :/

This Morning...

2006-03-07T15:20:00.000Z

What on Earth is this all about? Smear test live?! Whatever next? Vasectomy cam?

Pit of self doubt

2006-03-02T15:31:00.000Z

I started this post a while ago, but never published it because I knew it was just a bit of emotional self-pity and likely to pass. The urge has reappeared though, so I'm going to edit it and try to re-write it without sounding like I'm angling for attention.

As I'm sure many of you will understand, when you go through one of the "down" days and it seems like the world is against you, there are very few things that can convince you to put a positive spin on your outlook. Recently I have found myself looking at my friendships in a way that makes me feel like I'm completely on the outside of each of my groups of friends. This is unusual for me, as normally I love being with my mates and socialising. I was lamenting a few days ago(to myself natch) that I felt really lonely at the moment because none of my friends (even the close ones) seem to contact me "just because". I guess I am just not the top of anyone's phone list. I know that you have to make an effort and reach out to people before they reach back, but I always feel like I am the one doing the chasing. Then I have shots of guilt because if I haven't contacted them, maybe I haven't tried hard enough.

I also get this internal (or infernal) dialogue of sorts (not of the schizoid nature). The frustrated and angry part silently shouts "if they aren't going to contact me, why should I bother?", the sensible side says"Relax! they're probably just busy, you give them a call" and the paranoid bit whispers "Well do they really like me?".

Ultimately I'm asking the questions; should I be bothered that no one from outside Leeds has visited me recently? Is it just too far? Have I made enough effort to contact them? Do they just find me as dull and awkward as I feel around some of them?. Finally, am I reading too much into these thoughts or am I ignoring what they tell me?

Dwelling on this since I first wrote it, I've realised that on the good days these feelings don't go away, but just shrink to tiny niggles in the background that I can ignore. Well, so much for avoiding that pit of self doubt, I seem to have fallen into it again.

Memory stick troubles!

2006-02-27T14:28:00.000Z

I lost the lid to my memory stick 2 weeks ago and emailed the company asking for a replacement. Very kindly they sent one out, but as you can see, the envelope they used tore in the post and arrived empty. I emailed them with this picture and asked if they could send out another.

This morning I got a parcel containing a memory stick lid (Yey!) very securely wrapped in both an anti-static bag and a padded Jiffy bag. I found this quite funny as they'd obviously made an effort to make sure it wouldn't happen again so I took a photo to show them I'd got it.

I was expecting a lid like this (borrowed from a colleague with the same model of memory stick) and was quite suprised (and pleased) that they actually kept stocks of replacements.

It wasn't until I looked carefully at the replacement lid that I realised that there may be an additional problem... After all that faffing about with flimsy envelopes, they'd sent me the wrong one!

Well, at least it fits. I'm still going to tell them that they've sent the wrong one though!

February is big on birthdays...

2006-02-21T17:29:00.000Z

Isn't it weird how some months seem to contain huge numbers of birthdays? For me this tends to mean that February sees me low on cash and nursing a 28 (or 29) day hangover. On the plus side however I get to go to lots of parties and here are some pictures from the most recent.These are from Jo's birthday...

Now the blurred nature of this photo is not my fault as you should be able to tell by the fact that I'm in the picture. (Note to self: Leon is not the best photographer after a bottle of wine and 4 Absolut alcopops)

Gorgeous couples

2006-02-21T17:18:00.000Z

These are from Max's birthday last weekend, where everyone asked that I emailed them the pictures. They are pretty big files, so I thought I'd publish the best here, so you can all decide which ones you want.

Maxine greets her guests

2006-02-21T17:14:00.000Z

(Not sure who is supposed to be on the other side of Max... Maybe it's a vampire!)

Lovely Ladies

2006-02-21T17:10:00.000Z

More birthday pictures

2006-02-21T16:59:00.000Z

Season's Greetings

2005-12-21T14:50:00.000Z

I quite like the phrase "Season's Greetings" as it gives me a short way of saying "Happy holidays, merry Christmas and a happy new year" without having to worry about whether the person I'm writing to is Christian. The problem with it is that it's not very elegant or warm. Ah well, hope you like my e-card (called snow-evo).

2005-12-14T12:56:00.000Z

My Grandma's 90th birthday is approaching and my Dad and I have been preparing for a presentation to be given at her birthday meal. We've been digging through old photographs and found these two of my great-grandma, one from her youth and one later in life. I am strangely excited about seeing them, especially the first as it is obviously the actual photo that she would have held in her hand, most likely at the beginning of the 1900s - 100 years ago!

Wild West Help Desk

2005-11-23T13:56:00.000Z

Howdy!

Last Friday was Children in Need day - a charity fundraising event for which my collegues and I dressed up as characters from the Old West. We had a sheriff, a deputy, a couple of outlaws and a Mexican. I was the only native american (named Dances with Boys), but we had some good ole fashioned cowboys too. We also decked out the office with cacti, wagon wheels, wanted posters and other things to give clues to what we were up to. I was originally worried that we wouldn't raise as much money as last year (£171.75 the total to beat) but on counting up mid afternoon, people had already donated over £195. We still haven't got the final figures in as our collecting tins are still on the desks - but I'll keep you posted. Until then, here's a pic of us all!

Student = student card = student discounts!

2005-10-25T09:45:00.000+01:00

I am to start my Post Graduate Certificate tomorrow, a course that teaches me how to run a project within the workplace. I only have 12 days of being taught over the academic year, the rest of the studying has to be done in my own time, whilst the project itself needs to be done in work time. I'm going to have to be very disciplined and make sure I don't leave it all to the last minute as I have with coursework in the past. Fortunately my line manager Vanessa, and Simon, the person I've managed to rope in as my mentor are both very supportive and I'm sure I'm not going to have any problems getting the help I need from them. Overall I'm a bit nervous because the responsibility is not only with me to complete the project, but to complete the coursework as well, and this time (unlike my previous studies) it is not just me who loses out if I mess up.

On the brighter side, it will look very good on my CV and hopefully give me the experience in project management that I need to make my next step careerward. I'm also looking forward to getting my student card and all the associated discounts that come with it. Bring on the shops!

Homework Photos

2005-10-12T13:34:00.000+01:00

I started my digital photography course 3 weeks ago in the lovely town/village of Saltaire. It has so many beautiful buildings, and is only a few minutes on the train from Leeds that I wish I had explored it before.

Although my camera isn’t as fancy as the kit that some of my course mates have, I’ve been please to find that most of the feature we have been discussing are available on my camera. I’ve also been trying to understand some of the key concepts involved in photography. The hardest one is that of apertures as it’s a bit topsy turvy; when you decrease the setting F number, you widen the aperture and the depth of focus narrows. Odd!

Our first lot of homework has been on “Silhouettes”, especially using the spot light meter to force the camera to measure the light from a bright area and transfer the settings to use on a darker area. It is strange going round taking pictures of things rather than people or events as I normally do, but it is good fun. It appeals to my creative side which unfortunately doesn’t get indulged very often.

Anyway, here are some photos from my first set of homework (reduced for convenience). Enjoy!

Animation Games

2005-09-19T14:08:00.000+01:00

I used my new tripod to help me create the following animation using my camera, a sheet of paper and a few felt-tip pens. I positioned my camera in front of a board against which I held the paper I was drawing on. I made sure I returned the paper to the same place on the board each time and made sure I didn't accidently move the board or the camera. I added a few millimetres onto the lines in each frame and returned the sheet to the board for the next photograph.

On reflection I should have used a better lit area, been even more careful not to move the equipment and found something more interesting to draw. Unfortunately this single sheet method wouldn't work if I wanted to move a line once I'd drawn it. Maybe I'll try using paper cut outs, sand or string for my next attempt - I'll wait until I'm feeling creative and think up something fun... Meanwhile, here's my first stop frame animation.

Think about them naked...

2005-09-16T15:40:00.000+01:00

... This is amongst some of the (mostly useless) advice that I received prior to giving my first ever talk to a room full of students on Wednesday. I had been getting steadily more nervous about the prospect of presenting a Introduction to IT workshop since I agreed to do it the fortnight before. By Tuesday evening I was so worried that I was not properly prepared that I spent 5 hours after work tweaking my presentation slides. I went home exhausted and woke the next morning in much the same way, not a great start.

Despite not having some of the things ready, I was surprised (and chuffed) to find that I'd managed to muddle through. There were moments where I could feel myself rambling or saying the wrong thing, and at those points I felt the most fear. I would start to think "I've messed that up" but somehow forced the thought to the back of my mind so it didn't get the better of me. I knew that if I let that feeling escape whilst I was still talking, it would kidnap the rest of my thoughts and tie them up in knots.

Having survived the ordeal, I am really glad that I agreed to do it. Although I have made it over the first hurdle of giving a training session, albeit with very little grace and flourish, I know I will still be nervous for a while to come.

Sony Photo Printer

2005-09-13T11:32:00.000+01:00

This is my new toy, a Sony Pictbridge photo printer that was a birthday present from my boyfriend. I frequently feel guilty about presents that are practical, but that I don't use very often, or to their full extent. However this is one that has only caused the odd twinge of "do I really need this?" guilt, and that's mainly because it cost Dan a fair amount of money which he doesn't have. I'm hoping that I do get a lot of use out of it, especially because I'm starting a digital photography course later this month.

I was a bit surprised by the cartridge which was more like a typewriter ribbon than a ink or laser jet cartridge. I guess it means that it can guarantee the number of photos that it prints rather than running out of cyan when you've printed too many pictures of the sea and sky.

All the photopaper is 6" x 4" size, which I prefer. It also has a postcard style backing with a space for the stamp and a line down the centre separating the address from the message. I'm hoping it won't be long before I'm taking photos that are good enough to pass as postcards in their own right!

Bill Bailey's Chaucer Joke

2005-09-06T14:03:00.000+01:00

I have been wanting to find a copy of this Bill Bailey joke for ages because I keep remembering the odd line or two and laughing about it to myself. I've seen several recordings of it and I love the way he pronounces the words in a pseudo Medieval style. I imagine that is why the person who's website I *ahem* borrowed it from has added all the unnecessary E's and unusual spellings in the manner of "Ye Olde Tea Shoppe". The basic premise is that "three men go into a pub" jokes have been around a long time and that this may very well be one that was written by Chaucer.

The Chaucer Pubbe Gagge

Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe,
And gleefullye their handes did rubbe,
In expectatione of revelrie,
For 'twas the houre known as happye.
Greate botelles of wine did they quaffe,
And hadde a reallye good laffe.
'Til drunkennesse held full dominione,
For 'twas two for the price of one.
Yet after wine and meade and sac,
Man must have a massive snack,
Great pasties from Cornwalle!
Scottishe eggs round like a balle!
Great hammes, quaile, ducke and geese!
They suck'd the bones and drank the grease!
(One fellowe stood all pale and wan,
For he was vegetarianne)
Yet man knoweth that gluttonie,
Stoketh the fyre of lecherie,
Upon three young wenches round and slye,
The fellowes cast a wanton eye.
One did approach, with drunkene winke:
"'Ello darlin', you fancy a drink?",
Soon they caught them on their knee,
'Twas like some grotesque puppettrie!
Such was the lewdness and debaucherie -
'Twas like a sketch by Dick Emery!
(Except that Dick Emery is not yet borne -
So such comparisonne may not be drawn).
But then the fellowes began to pale,
For quail are not the friende of ale!
And in their bellyes much confusione!
From their throats vile extrusione!
Stinking foule corruptionne!
Came spewinge forth from droolinge lippes,
The fetide stenche did fille the pubbe,
'Twas the very arse of Beelzebubbe!
Thrown they were, from the Horne And Trumpette,
In the street, no coyne, no strumpet.
Homeward bounde, must quicklie go,
To that ende - a donkey stole!
Their handes all with vomit greased,
(The donkey was not pleased,
And threw them into a ditche of shite!)
They all agreed: "What a brillant night!"

Hair Cuts

2005-09-05T17:10:00.000+01:00

I've just returned from the hairdressers and I'm having the familiar sense of relaxation that comes after having my hair cut and blow dried . I'm still not sure where this feeling comes from, perhaps it's because I've had my scalp pummelled for the last 45 minutes and my brain has entered "massage euphoria" or simply it's because my hair looks good and I feel smug about it.

I never used to feel so good about going to the hairdressers. When I was younger my Mum used to take me and my sister to our village hairdressers, a very stereotypical 'old woman's salon' owned by a nice lady who would always chat to us about how we were doing at school. However the fact it was so un-cool made even the trip there and back something to dread. I would have been mortified if anyone had ever seen me going in as it would have no doubt lowered my already low 'street cred'! The next trial was having to go through the torture of having my dry hair combed through with a fine toothed comb, no soothing massage here, at least not for the younger patrons anyway. I soon learnt that the trick was to wash my hair just before going and leave it damp! Finally I was always disappointed that I came out with the same boring 'do' and never had a nice hair cut that I could do anything with.

Looking back, I think that my biggest regret was that me and my sister were never taken to the more expensive salons in town. As a result I find now that I'm still not entirely sure what suits me and am not confident enough in the stylist to branch out into something different. It really boils down to my Mum's nightmare hairdresser story that happened when she was at college. She had saved up and booked an appointment at a Vidal Sassoon salon (I think) and driven all the way to Manchester to get her lovely long black curly hair cut and styled. Instead of coming away feeling like she had treated herself, she drove all the way home in tears because they'd given her a regulation cropped cut that she just didn't like. It's still an image that upsets me, and probably why I have never let anyone cut my hair short.

I'm off to admire my hair cut now (self esteem boost needed). May all your hair cuts be beautiful and all your stylists skilled!

Leeds West Indian Carnival

2005-09-02T18:43:00.000+01:00

Leeds West Indian Carnival is something that I've meant to go and see for a long time. This August Bank Holiday I finally managed it, gathering some friends together to watch the parade, listen to the steel drums and eat jerk chicken.

The whole thing reminded me of the annual Field Day event in the village where I grew up. I had dressed up in silly costumes for the procession regularly with family and friends and even won prizes on some occasions. Even the atmosphere in the park was similar, kids running around or going on the fairground rides with parents and grandparents relaxing on the grass.

Although I've seen some great costumes on the Field Day procession, the carnival costumes were incredible. They had obviously taken the dedicated designers months to create as the decorations were so detailed. I couldn't beleive how heavy and awkward some of them must have been to carry, especially on such a hot day. I'm going to stop waxing lyrical about them now though, and show you some of the pictures I took on the day... Enjoy!

Autumn Days when my blog is new...

2005-09-02T17:07:00.000+01:00

Hello there! I'm rather excited about setting up my first Blog. The process is a bit daunting, especially when you don't get your preferred name and you keep trying to think up different ones which are never as good as the one you wanted first off.

This is only the second proper blog I've ever made, and the first that is under my name and my name alone. I've done websites before and tried to use them in the same way, but I've always ended up adandoning them a few months in. I'm hoping that the wonderful world of Blogger will encourage me to keep at it this time.

I shall leave you with the lyrics to a hymn I used to sing in assembly at primary school. I did a search for it today and found a parent who discovered that their daughter had copied it out of a hymn book at school and tried to pass it off as her own poem! I love it because it is not religious, it just calls on people to be grateful for what they have, and also because it describes vividly my favourite time of year.

Autumn Days
Autumn days, when the grass is jewelled
And the silk in a chestnut shell
Jet planes meeting in the air to be refuelled
All these things I love so well

Chorus
So I mustn't forget
No, I mustn't forget
To say a great big thank you
No, I mustn't forget.

Clouds that look like familiar faces
And winter's moon with frosted rings
Smell of bacon as I fasten up my laces
And the song milkman sings.

Chorus

Whipped-up spray that is rainbow-scattered
And a swallow curving in the sky
Shoes go comfy though they're worn out and they're battered
And the taste of apple pie.

Chorus

Scent of gardens when the rain's been falling
And a minnow darting down a stream
Picked-up engine that's been stuttering and stalling
And a win for my home team.

Emma's Bloglet

Brushing off cobwebs...

New Home, New Start

Election Frustration

Not on "The Other Side" yet...

*Quiet Time*

My new job

All new...

End of an Era

Hot Fuzzy Fun

What I wouldn't give...

Compare and contrast

BA (Hons) and now PG Cert

Guess Who?

Busy, busy bee...

Been quiet round here huh?

...And much drinking was done by all

Good news multiplier

A life on the ocean wave...

Freedom feels weird...

self-destruct mode

Another stupid postal event

This is a test.

Whitby

From stalking to kidnap.

The spirit of Summer

Thunderstorms and Booking Forms

Feeling down and dirty

Twice Daily

Sleepless nights

Wise Man John

Stalking, stalking, happy stalk,

Late arrivals

Forgot to mention

Humbling...

Getting re-connected

Further face ache / Cranium Champions

Face Ache

Ha ha ha!

Parp! Fire!

A final word on memory sticks...

A desk with a view

Beware the long legged dream spiders

No change here...

Spot the Jackass

This Morning...

Pit of self doubt

Memory stick troubles!

February is big on birthdays...

Gorgeous couples

Maxine greets her guests

Lovely Ladies

More birthday pictures

Season's Greetings

Wild West Help Desk

Student = student card = student discounts!

Homework Photos

Animation Games

Think about them naked...

Sony Photo Printer

Bill Bailey's Chaucer Joke

Hair Cuts

Leeds West Indian Carnival

Autumn Days when my blog is new...

Quiet Time